the madeleintelligentsia.

makers rocks.

2012-01-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

bourbon makes the
heart grow fonder
a well-documented
fact.

after a few,
your mind starts to wander
your common sense
hijacked.

your drunken fingers
start to ponder
texts with no wit
and less tact

it's fine to dream
about that idiot yonder
but for tomorrow's sake
try not to act.

home for the holidays.

2011-12-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

la guardia. christmas.
gate 7C.
the air's full of
festive melancholy
and though
laden with
baggage
in hand
and in heart,
we've got
shoe removal
down to a serious art.

self-examination.

2011-11-21T07:20:00.000-08:00

heartburn or heartache?
i can't quite decide
the red wine, the pâté
they scorch me inside
but the dumb
and the glum
also coincide
with whiskey,
spaghetti
and too much
swallowed pride.

6-7 pm.

2011-11-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

meetings are murder
that kill in cold blood
with power trips
and powerpoints
wielded by duds.

brooklyn.

2011-10-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

it's finally time to own up
to the fact
that i'm a grown up
and stop just living
like a jerk,

sure it seems fun
to act twenty-one
but admitting your'e old
has its perks:

there's fortune and fame
a respectable name
a house! and a spouse!
-- a career!

or maybe just the
knowledge
that i'm not a
fool in college:
i'm cooler,
and like better beer.

losing.

2011-09-16T08:44:00.000-07:00

dignity is a fine word
it rolls right off the tongue
then climbs from your mouth
down your spine--
rung by
rung by
rung.

but then it disappears
and won't come out of hiding
which thankfully is the
moment you
will do
something
exciting.

the day after yesterday.

2011-09-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

in just one week,
we've had to master
hurricanes,
tornadoes
and quakes
but, without a doubt,
the worst natural disaster
is this hangover and its shakes.

on sweeping.

2011-08-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

getting to know you's like curling
-- a lot harder than it looks
it's just pushing rocks on ice with a broom
but people take lessons, read books.

in the same way, i should be practicing
-- honing my skills and technique
so i can master the obscure sport
of charming your face off next week.

newark generalizations.

2011-07-29T17:52:00.000-07:00

stuck in an airport bar
i noticed a couple of things
the british are drunks
single women seem sad
and married men
cover their rings.

madison avenue.

2011-06-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

midtown at midnight -
a magical place,
the hustle has slowed
to a comatose pace.

the corporate lemmings
have all caught their trains
to exotic suburbs like
greenwich, white plains

the salad bars slumber
the starbuckses dream
off duty cabs glide 'neath
the empire state's gleam

the cubes are all empty,
and so is this .doc
it's just me, the cleaners,
and old writer's block.

m.o.

2011-05-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

are you aloof?
well, step right up
i'd love to sit and pine
and dream of your
dreamy detached-ness
and how someday you'll
vaguely
maybe
possibly
almost
kind of

be mine.

rise & shiner.

2011-04-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

and down the office stairs i fell -
a tumbling, bumbling wreck
trust me to end the week from hell
by trying to break my neck.

the week-end.

2011-02-27T21:40:00.000-08:00

how i long to punch you,
sunday night feeling.
how i dream of sending
your sorry ass reeling

you stand there so smugly
while i cower in bed
with your ugly little pal
monday morning dread.

despair-ity.

2011-02-17T16:21:00.000-08:00

work / life balance, where'd you go?
we used to be so tight!
remember when we'd think all day
but go for beers at night?

you've probably got new friends by now
i'm sure they're really great
would love to meet up with you guys

--- but i'll probably be here late.

baggage claim.

2011-01-06T10:03:00.000-08:00

of the world's most miserable places
the airport takes the top prize
for the dourest, most disgruntled faces
for delays, cancellations and sighs
for the way we all drag our heels & suitcases
through lineups, patdowns & goodbyes
if there's one thing that unites all religions & races
it's hate for the unfriendly skies.

all i want for xmas.

2010-12-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

dear santa, are you here yet?
i've been waiting for thee
though i'm sitting at my desk
not by the chimney
i don't need any presents
i've got what i need
all i want is this week
to pick up some speed.

look, i've been pretty nice
(ok, occasionally naughty)
i've got no milk & cookies
but how 'bout a hot toddy?
i'll ho ho ho at your jokes!
i'll pet all nine reindeer!
just get me the hell out of here.

merry & bright.

2010-12-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

'tis the season to be jolly
so i guess i shall give it a go
i'll succumb to all festive folly
wear ugly sweaters
loiter near mistletoe
i'll get smashed, like a car
that's crashed into a trolley
screech carols, roast chestnuts
throw snow,
so pass me the punchbowl, by golly
because 'tis not the season for woe.

out with the oldies.

2010-11-10T12:01:00.000-08:00

why, clarity!
it's been so long-
i hardly recognized you!
been hanging with delusion
who taught me to despise you
but seeing you has made me see
that you're a total catch
let's take your perspective
and my life
and make ourselves
a match.

refreshed.

2010-11-08T13:24:00.000-08:00

on the monday that follows a week off
motivation has called in sick
leaving you to fend for your sorry self

--- the heartless prick.

okstupid

2010-10-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

admission: i'm already hating
the strange sport of online dating
although i just joined last week
chances are bleak
that i'll be catching foreign films
or ice skating.

update: after briefly debating
i've already quit online dating
although profiles were appealing
i couldn't shake the feeling
i was trapped in costco
hyperventilating.

bingo.

2010-09-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

if i could play bingo
with the corporate lingo
that's tossed round
an office each day

i'd invest in a blotter
and wait for the fodder
to come ricocheting
my way:

"digital innovation!
holistic integration!
twitter app fan page!"
they'd say

then i'd yell, 'jackpot, bitches'
run off my with my riches
& leave them to
drown in cliches.

nyc note #387

2010-08-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

am i trapped in the 9th circle of hell?
no, i'm just sitting on a hipster-filled L.

like demons, they writhe in skinny jean splendor
en route to art-raves, blog parties & benders

they smell like they drink PBR by the barrel
and look like they're broker than american apparel

but i shall not judge, because i'm on this train too
with greasy bangs, headphones & questionable shoes.

nyc note #245

2010-08-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

lately, this town's biggest fear -
it has changed.
we couldn't care less for the
drunk or deranged,
we'd happily choose getting
mugged, thugged, or drugged,

o'er the miniature horror
of being bedbugged.

yes, psychopaths pale in
comparison to these
tiny slum landlords
who spread like disease

they're dirty little hipsters
yet savvy as can be:

your place might be rent-control
but these jerks live for free.

home wrecker.

2010-08-24T05:13:00.001-07:00

insomnia's a bitch.
a coy, conniving witch.
each night she employs
an army of noise
to keep us from
sleeping a stitch.

insomnia's a jerk.
the patron saint of shirk.
she encourages pillage
throughout the village
so we all show up
grumpy to work.

telephobia.

2010-08-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

it's true -
i'm afraid of my phone.
it refuses to leave me alone.
it rings and it pings
and it tells me to do things
it's a demon -
this mobile i own.

i admit -
it's slightly neurotic
to fear something so idiotic
but it mocks and it stalks
till i give in and talk
it's not a smartphone -
it's psychotic.

topical.

2010-08-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

if your meeting
is going downhill
why not go
along for the ride?
so the ideas are dead--
think of better
ones instead!

or grab beers
and activate the slide.

happy hour.

2010-08-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

if every hour was happy hour
how happy we would be
the half-price pints and pretzel bowls
would wipe out misery.

the 10 cent wings and well-drinks
would surely cure disease
and millions of heartbreaks
would be soothed by nacho cheese.

the free nuts and the free pours
would calm all job unrest
and we'd solve world conflicts easily
by slurring, 'no, YOU'RE the besht'.

if every hour was happy hour
how perfect life would be
but as it stands there's only one

so we're screwed for 23.

poor me.

2010-06-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

there's nothing romantic
about being broke,
nothing.
not even a smidgen
it might appeal to
more bohemian folk
but i prefer not to
live like a pigeon.

sp eff.

2010-06-15T18:12:00.000-07:00

i'd rather be sunburned
than stupid,
but frankly, i'm both today
oh, that how i feel
would also just peel,
turn to tan
or fade away -

but you seem quite
determined to stay.

31.

2010-05-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

the great depression & the thirties
are rather historically bound
but the truth is, it's fun to get older
or at least, that's what i've found --

trial & errors have made me wiser
and i'm happy just being 'me'
but most important,
i've traded my tedious angst
for the much more refined apathy.

meet market.

2010-04-29T14:53:00.000-07:00

in a meeting
where everyone's talking
it never feels good
to be mute

and so, one by one
we blurt out
our thoughts

no matter how
un-astute.

girl power.

2010-04-26T14:58:00.000-07:00

clever women drink more
this finding comes as no surprise
after all, they have to think more
and booze, it makes you wise

clever women think more
so, this news is not a shock --
less need to see the shrink more
when there's whiskey on the rocks.

cheap thrills.

2010-04-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

if we drink wine from a paper bag
will you forgive my hobo-ish ways?
it pairs perfectly with this double-cheese slice
and I don’t get paid for three days.

will this covert, napkin-wrapped PBR
offend your bourgeoise taste?
i hope not, cause I have one for you too
now don’t let your dessert go to waste.

spring fling.

2010-04-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

oh, there you are, spring -
i've been waiting.
you've been a bit of a prude,
standing on the threshold,
debating --
don't be so hesitant, dude.

friendship badge.

2010-04-13T09:06:00.000-07:00

solace, it's over.
our love, it has died
they found me on foursquare
now there's nowhere to hide.

they check out my check ins
they know just how to stalk you
no offense, solace - they're
just more fun to talk to.

pho.

2010-04-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

alone with my noodles
i'm left to reflect
on my life and yours -
how they don't intersect

on hilarious problems
with no easy fix
and just how appallingly
i eat with chopsticks.

gripe machine.

2010-03-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

it's monday and rainy
and you are depressed
you're grumpier than cheney
and twice as repressed.

the work week is zany
and everyone's stressed
it's monday and rainy
and you're not impressed.

re: morse

2010-03-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

the fool who makes choices
and immediately rejoices
is a fool that i want to be

because all my decisions
like small, sharp incisions
cut into regretter-ing me.

flip flop season.

2010-03-22T14:43:00.000-07:00

oh, mind - you are far from decisive,
in fact, you're a bit of a flake
you say one thing, then another
you waffle 'tween chicken & steak.

you sway like a hippie at burning man
is it right? i don't know. is it wrong?
doubt and delay, they are paddles
in this endless game of brain pong.

oh, mind - you are close to intolerable
indeed, you're a tiresome mess
and despite the fact that you're all mine
what you'll choose is anyone's guess.

questioning.

2010-03-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

could anything truly give greater enjoyment
than spending the weekend at your place of employment?

let me give it some thought

...

oh, perhaps getting shot.

thinking soda.

2010-03-09T18:46:00.000-08:00

is the meaning of life in this rootbeer float?
i'm hoping the answer is yes
because otherwise, why did i order it
in an airport food court, no less?

will decisions be made by this rootbeer float?
i'm praying, oh, praying they will
because otherwise, who am i / what am i doing
slurping this small town swill?

wordplayer.

2010-02-18T10:03:00.001-08:00

back and forths
forth and backs
are my aphrodisiacs
nothing makes
me more smitten
than banter that is, well,
well-written.
forget the handsomes
with the money
who aren't remotely
smart or funny
if you're a broke
hilarious jerk
ichat or text-
let's make it work.

muted.

2010-02-10T09:05:00.000-08:00

hooray, conference call number five!
you make me so glad i'm alive!

to thy glorious phone we draw near
even though we can't really hear

and yet, it could go on for days
as we spew all existing cliches:

synergy! crowdsource! integration!
social media! big picture! salvation!

oh, such honor to witness all this!
empty spluttering corporate bliss.

anti-couplet.

2010-02-04T17:42:00.000-08:00

old man chair and brooklyn beer:
2 reasons why i'm single here.

petty thievery.

2010-01-26T14:21:00.000-08:00

i didn't steal granola bars from
your stupid drawer.

so halt this snippy attack!

i'd rather swipe that
smug look of yours

than your hippie snacks.

call hating.

2010-01-11T15:16:00.001-08:00

with naught else to guide her
but the telephone provider
she was lost and left
out in the cold.
she yelled at customer (dis)service
until they got nervous
& did what they do best -

put her on hold.

me ow.

2010-01-04T12:28:00.000-08:00

mondays you slay me
you wound and betray me
with your snoozy and slithering ways

you come along with no warning
too early in the morning
and leave me with garfieldian malaise.

2010.

2009-12-31T12:38:00.000-08:00

look decade - it's over.
you're finished
we're through
i gave you 10 years
now i'm dumping you.

it was fun while it lasted
but the spark
it has gone
so, see you later zeros
it's time to move on.

holiday fear

2009-12-21T11:16:00.000-08:00

twas the week before christmas
and all through my head
no sugarplums danced, just neurosis & dread.

the presents are half-bought
the work isn't finished
and holiday cheer?

let's say it's "diminished".

mistepping out.

2009-11-27T15:50:00.001-08:00

i think you're just my typo,
and though i'm often wrong
we're both neurotic jerkwads
so we'd probably get along.

i think i'm just your typo,
and though i'm rarely right,
you'd be a fun mistake to make.
want to have drinks tonight?

new business.

2009-11-21T14:32:00.001-08:00

son of a bitch.
we got in the pitch
and this one and yup, that one too

oh, life's one small glitch
that i am not rich
in new york with nothing to do.

time to fall?

2009-11-02T21:02:00.000-08:00

it's official
well beyond doubt
it's getting
stupid-chilly out
such foolish cold
throws fools together

alack! alas!
it's boyfriend weather.

tile bar.

2009-10-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

how i love thee, dear local
how you brighten the gloom
how your guinness casts light
cross the dark of this room

i come to thee often
for cheering and chatter
and at bottoms of pints
find cruxes of matter

and all the while the jukebox spits
an endless stream of average hits.

bitter bitter.

2009-09-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

did we really call this meeting
to sit and hear you blather?
if so, i've got to go
as quite honestly, i'd rather
gnaw the leg off a tiny, rabid dog
than listen to this endless, endless
yawn-o-logue.

same old.

2009-09-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

oh TV ads, print ads
oh traditional pap
if i complain about thee
my wrist gets a slap,

cause though it's the future
we sure love the past -

"progressive? schmogressive!
just make it half-assed."

madvertising.

2009-09-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

livid and learn
is that what they say?
probably not,
but i'm stupid today.

no, not stupid - irked
no, not irked - mad
no, not mad, just jerked
by work pretty bad.

but rather than become
a bitchy naysayer
i'll just drink makers mark
and listen to slayer.

at sea.

2009-09-10T05:17:00.000-07:00

oh, awkwardness, why must thou taint
and trouble these nice waters so?
our friendship is sinking
under weight of our thinking
now down to the murk of restraint
we might go.

oh no.

parklife

2009-09-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

you seem pretty deadset
on wearing that headset
too bad, cause it's awfully silly
to prattle alone
on an invisible phone,

-no one cares about your job
or that hot chick in philly.

ad parties.

2009-08-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

swampy swampy boggy bash,
full of sweaty adver-trash
hot hot hot too hot for me
so we went and found a/c.

dis-missive.

2009-08-05T06:51:00.000-07:00

dear you,

i have almost forgotten, but
you are still maddeningly there
like cigarettes or bubblegum or
the smuttiest smut
i can't seem to wash you
out of my hair.

mostly 'cause i'd rather not,
i mean, i don't mind the way you cling
like dust or sand after the beach
or the stickiest snot
i kind of like that there's a little trace
of you in everything.

it's not that i'm at all depressed
moving on is not that hard, you see
but though i meet and greet
and meet and greet
i liked you best
you set a standard that will be
fun to match, so thanks!

love,

me

nailed it.

2009-07-30T13:58:00.001-07:00

nail polish nail polish
why art thou so fleeting
you loved me then left me
all chipped for my meeting.

snorecast.

2009-07-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

rain rain go away
and come again, oh, never
your soggy slog has cursed me
with curly hair forever.

dream job.

2009-07-27T18:10:00.000-07:00

and boom! without warning
it was one in the morning
and still i was here
and though there was beer,
it wasn't that fun.

-- this sums up my year.

too saucy.

2009-07-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

i'm in serious pain
(though i'm not even hurt)
on account of the soy sauce
i spilled down my skirt

it scorched & it stained me
it swallowed me whole
and turned me into a
giant california roll.

and of course there's hours
left in this endless day,
so i'll have to work smelling
like sushi combination A.

oldskooled.

2009-06-22T17:37:00.000-07:00

in the grand scheme of flings
it was nothing
and by nothing, i mean it was lots
but the time it has ticked
and though heart, somewhat pricked
i still have more haves than have nots.

avenue no. 1

2009-06-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

my tiny apartment has plenty of charms
among them, its 4 am car alarms,
not to mention the sultriest siren's call
or the honky tonk honking
or the drunk caterwaul.

age-appropriate.

2009-05-30T19:45:00.000-07:00

and so i turned thirty
and rather than dirty
or excessively clean
i felt serene-

ready to grow up
rather than throw up
or drink till i'm muddled
--- i'm kind of befuddled.

adull-tery.

2009-05-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

listen, new york,
i hate to admit it.
but i'm cheating on you
and i can't seem to quit it.

who is he, you ask?
well, let's just call him 'job'
he's neurotic, demanding
and a bit of a slob.

but, new york though i love you
it's to him that i'm pandering
will you ever forgive
such corporate philandering?

fine whining

2009-05-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

they ordered food without me
i cant' believe it's true
and yet i see a burger
and what looks like chicken stew

they ordered food without me
so now i won't eat dinner
i'll just sit here, fuming, seething
oh, and getting thinner.

presentation.

2009-04-15T12:51:00.001-07:00

dunkin donuts coffee
and lime green office chairs
sitting in a boardroom
in the town of who knows where.

did i just say boardroom?
i actually meant 'bored'
and it's only 10 am
- dear lord.

anti-bliss-tamines.

2009-04-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

is it allergies
that are making me sneeze?
or am i reacting to various stupidities -
like working past eleven,
six days out of seven
finding finances bleak
though we got paid last week
or wondering about
those i should do without,
is it dumb things such as these
or just allergies?

satur-laze

2009-04-05T01:33:00.000-07:00

the world is out there getting drunk
and i am staying in
if this is a fun test, i guess i flunk
but if top prize is a headache
i win.

on scoring

2009-04-01T18:01:00.000-07:00

there is no sport rougher
than the sport of romance,
no exercise tougher
than this game of chance,
there's falling and mauling,
bruises, fatigue --
and so often you're playing in
an out-of-your-league.

bah.

2009-03-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

little no sleep
has lost her bleeping voice
- and she can't find it
leave her alone to squawk & moan

(admit it, you kinda don't mind it.)

giddy down!

2009-03-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

a drinker's remorse
is much like a horse
it's big and it's strong
and it gallops along

forever.

it whinnies and trots
as you connect the dots
then emphatically nays
all your drunk yesterdays

does it ever.

in the morning.

2009-03-06T04:16:00.000-08:00

there's something kind of dirty
about working at three thirty
in the morning.
in the morning.

there's something corporate whore-ish
about being here at four-ish
in the morning.
in the morning.

there's something kind of lame
about an office walk of shame
in the morning.
in the morning.

but in this job it is expected
so i cannot be dejected-
i had warning
i had warning.

shirking.

2009-02-24T19:35:00.000-08:00

procrastinate procrastinate
it's all i ever do
and yet, i never put off
a chance to think of you.

working late.

2009-02-18T00:20:00.000-08:00

let me just clarify, working late -
it's you i hate.
i know, i know -
i've been a tease
i've led you on, but please -
now i must communicate
it's you i hate.
yes yes, i guess,
i've let you rock
me right around that office clock,
but it's time to find another date
so let me re-articulate -
it's you i hate.

phoning it in.

2009-02-11T10:16:00.001-08:00

hours and hours of conference calling
nothing could be more appalling-
awkward, static-fused discussion
leaves me with a mild concussion,
or maybe just a sense of numb-ness
at our tele-phonic dumbness.

meeting/eating.

2009-02-11T09:58:00.000-08:00

while it's wonderful that we get a free lunch
i'd rather hear the meeting than the sound of you crunch.

inebri-hated.

2009-02-08T17:42:00.000-08:00

oh drunk kids downstairs, i implore thee!
shut your sloppy traps up, alright?
i get it, you totally adore me --
but you serenade me every night.

if you insist on trying to woo me
some advice on how to proceed -
learning something wittier than,

"Fuck you!"

"no, Fuck You!!!!"

would be refreshing indeed.

wrong on the money

2009-02-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

economy economy
why dost thou suffer so?
oh right, it's that lobotomy
you had five months ago.

economy economy
why dost thou hurt me, yo?
i thought i had autonomy
but when you suck, i blow.

a musing.

2009-01-19T10:55:00.000-08:00

girls aren't very funny
at least that's what i hear
also, they shop till their
fingers drop off
& drink crantinis, not beer.

silly.

2009-01-06T20:38:00.000-08:00

your heart it has mended
or is that ascended?
no, maybe suspended...
whatever the word, it has ended.

but next up a visit
short but exquisite

and crash!
you've descended.
how stupid.
how splendid.

nyc & me.

2008-12-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

hello new york, would you like to be friends?
i'm perfectly charming and clever
i've interesting taste and am up on new trends
which will make me your coolest! friend! ever!

...what's that? your friends are already great?
in fact, they're funnier, smarter and hotter than me?
with careers sure to make me salivate?
.....i see, new york. i see.

though my ego is bruised, i shan't grumble
instead i'll just learn to be humble.

polifickles

2008-11-02T09:03:00.001-08:00

elections come and go
but history stays the same
whoever wins will end up
with a multitude of blame
blame for things he does
blame for things he doesn't
blame for all that could have been
blame for the was and the wasn't

so remember when you cast your vote
choose the more eloquent scapegoat.

american.

2008-10-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

if all of my exes
left a hole as big as you,
my gaping heart would
be the size of Texas
-red, tight & blue.

dumb little ditty.

2008-10-17T15:31:00.001-07:00

i'm a little yuppie, short & stout
here is my iPhone, here is my clout,
there's my neurotic, nagging self-doubt,
when i get all over-worked, hear me shout,
"just get me tipsy, and let's go out".

new home sweet home

2008-10-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

new york is a glorious city
skyscrapingly, gapingly pretty,
all this brilliance around me
has done much to confound me
and now i feel rather un-witty.

half-baked.

2008-09-21T17:31:00.000-07:00

oh boychef you’re cooking up trouble
and i, am writing clichés
let’s call it a draw on the double --
i’ll stick to un-witticisms
-- you stick to soufflé.

bowled over.

2008-09-17T06:24:00.000-07:00

it might seem a bit rustic
and make yuppies shudder
but I can’t get my mind
out of the gutter

it’s right up my alley,
it’s fun, win or lose
and let’s not forget those glorious shoes.

peelings

2008-09-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

the stripper’s eyes were completely dead
like marbles in a glass,
rolling - cold and soulless -
round in that pretty head.

i wonder what was there before
she pulled the shutters down
closed up the business of her life
and leased it out to half the town.

ode to a pothead - a sonnet.

2008-09-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

dearest stoner, you were my addiction,
for a moment, 'twas heavy & hot
but i can say now, with clearest conviction,
your greatest love will always be pot.
you were charming! attractive! you told a good joke!
I could've gazed in those blue eyes all summer long
but alas, the date went up in smoke,
- literally – when you pulled out that bong.
and yet still I thought maybe you were mr. right,
i mean, i really felt something: I could laugh! I could cry!
my heart was pounding madly! my chest felt tight!
i was high on love!!!.... no wait….maybe just high.

it was fun though, to sit around your scuzzy place,
giggling at the filmic antics of chevy chase.

the beacs

2008-08-30T10:04:00.000-07:00

though friday night epiphanies are usually rare
- here i find myself suddenly seeing
gazing round this palatial potty, I could swear
these bathrooms were not made for peeing

see, your average water closet is, well, closet sized
and yet these could seat up to thirty
as though some hipster architect hip-ly devised
a place to clean up AND get dirty.

and the mirrors! the mirrors! they’re everywhere!
is that my reflection on the counter I’m seeing?!
gazing round this lavish lavatory, i’m fully aware
these bathrooms were not made for peeing.

right on the funny

2008-08-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

wit is a wonderful rarity
prized by anyone smart
the ladies, they covet hilarity
and hilarious, thou art.

they’ll go after sense of humor
with more aggressive skill
than surgeons go after a tumor
and get you, oh they will.

i hope i am mistaken
but sadly, it’s always true
all the funnys are usually taken
and the funniest is you.

ossing-done.

2008-08-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

this street has already reached its end
and most think it’s just beginning
the hipster-spots are no longer hip, my friend
and the suburbanites?

they’re winning.

the joy of text

2008-08-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

we’re texting less
and i confess
that’s worrying to me
even though
i willed it so
i’m filled with misery.

is it you i miss?
or the mobile bliss
of giving and receiving
the joyous elation
of each notification
now my heart is grieving.

we’re texting less
and i’m a mess
what a tedious way to be
so i'll mourn the clever
but not forever –
there are plenty of thumbs in the sea.

smackberry

2008-07-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

they say once you go blackberry
you never go back
and judging by her, I’d agree
her eyes are glazed over
her jaw is slack
but she’s never been so damn happy.

co-habitation

2008-07-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

now I’m normally not one to pick up on trends
but lately I’ve noticed a doozy
a fad sweeping the nation (or rather, my friends)
and truthfully I find it snoozy.

yes, living in sin is totally in
and they’re all shacking up with each other
but I’ve got to admit, I’m just not into it
(yeah, I know I sound like my mother).

what is it with this, this domestic bliss?
this IKEA-nic, grown-uppity living?
ok, there’s less rent and more time to kiss
but for every hit there’s a shattering miss
so, still I’ll look on with misgiving.

death of a salesy-man

2008-07-03T11:48:00.000-07:00

when irritating marketing guy
in meetings won’t stop talking
i often dream up ways he’ll die
(i know it’s rather shocking).

perhaps a piece of jargon will
crush him to pulpy quiet
or a cliché might sneak up and kill
his desire to yap up a riot.

a buzzword might sting his rosy cheek
stun him into glazed submission
or an angry swarm of business speak
leave him in stable (but silent) condition.

i realize all this sounds rather morose
but frankly, no one should be that verbose.